I don’t want to not feel anything but irritation. I pout. I frown. My eyebrows scrunch up. My eyelids squint together. Breathing exercises. I bite down on my tongue, my cheek, my lip. My teeth mash as tightly as possible against each other. My fists hurt from clenching at everything and nothing.
It’s so easy. When I’m not thinking about you and the happiness you bring me, it’s so easy for me to imagine my hands around someone’s neck.
A neck, in my vice grip that knows no mercy.
Anyone’s neck, except for yours.
You’ve saved me once. This is me begging you…please do it again. I know you can.
I love you.